Helping Children Cope with Divorce (1505)

Divorce requires adjustments for all involved, but the adjustments may be particularly difficult for children. There are several ways that adults can help children adjust. At the top of the list is being emotionally available to your child. It is very difficult for adults to not get caught up in their own emotional needs, but remember that children need love, patience, and understanding from both parents. Children have few other places to turn to for love and support, so it’s important for adults to be available to listen.

Good communication is important. Explain as much as possible about the situation and provide children with information about what the future will be like. Children will want to know where they will live, where they will go to school, and when they may see the other parent. If possible, keep their daily routines as structured and stable as possible.

Support the child’s love for, and relationship with, the other parents and the extended family. Children need ongoing contact with both parents. Try to be positive, or at least neutral, about the other parent. Children need to know it is still okay to love both parents. Children often feel “caught in the middle” when they are expected to carry messages, make phone calls, collect child support, or spy on the other parent. Communication, support, and patience will help children cope with the difficult adjustments of divorce.

For more information on this subject, Please visit the College of Agricultural Sciences Publications Web site.

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