Long-Distance Caregiving (1507)

Because our society is so mobile, many caregivers provide assistance from a distance, which can challenge even the closest of families.

Even if you keep in touch frequently, you may not be familiar with your parent or relative’s habits, friends, likes and dislikes, daily routines, and informal sources of support. Often, people are thrust unexpectedly into a caregiver role, resulting from a medical emergency. You may not have had time to prepare, plan, or think about what will be involved in caregiving.

When providing long-distance care, it’s tempting to jump to conclusions about what may be best for your relatives. It’s also common to blame yourself for not doing enough or being closer. There are no rights and wrongs, but it is important to remind yourself that you are doing the best you can.

These suggestions may ease the challenges of caregiving from a distance:

- Try to make your visits as positive and pleasant as possible. Avoid arriving with a laundry list of changes you think need to be made immediately.

- Try to observe and listen as much as possible. You may find that your loved one isn’t eating as well as she should or that he is always tired. When you take time to listen, you may hear ways that your relative would like to make changes that would be acceptable for all involved.

- Invite and involve other familyl members to share in responsibilities for providing care. It is good to remember that we all have different capabilities and capacities. Capabilities here means types of talents or skills. One sibling may be more prone to record keeping or research, while another is good at organizing the home for caregiving.

- Look for sources of informal support. Which friends are calling each day? Does a neighbor pop in from time to time or run errands? Seek out sources of support, and let them know you appreciate their help and would like them to call you from time to time. If possible, offer to have them call collect, or ask if you can call them.

- If differences arise, consider bringing in a third party, such as a trusted friend, physician, or clergy member.

- Check out sources of community support, including meal programs, transportation services, social programs, senior centers, churches, and volunteer opportunities for older adults to participate in.

For more information on this subject, Please visit the College of Agricultural Sciences Publications Web site.

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