Positive Attitude Helps (1506)

Millions of middle-aged people, primarily women, are in the “sandwich generation.” They care for two generations—their children and their aging parents. In fact, many Americans will spend more years caring for an aging parent than they will spend raising their children.

Your attitude and how you manage the stress in your life are the keys to coping with your role as a caregiver for an aging parent or relative. Anger, self-doubt, guilt, and other negative feelings can overcome your ability to be an effective caregiver. Dealing with your emotions through stress management techniques can help you focus on your multiple roles as caregiver, parent, and employee.

Having realistic expectations, knowing your limitations and your relative’s strengths and limits, setting family and personal goals, exploring outside resources, and staying flexible are keys to successful caregiving.

Family members need to realize that caregiving is not a one-person job. It requires teamwork, whether that assistance comes from other family members or from volunteers, friends, or paid help.

Some tips to help you keep a positive outlook about caregiving include:

- Assess your personal goals as well as the demands of caregiving. Find time to pursue the things that are truly important to you.

- Focus on the present, but plan for the future. Think about decisions concerning legal, financial, and medical issues that may arise.

- Think positively. Negative thoughts about yourself and the situation will create even more problems in the future.

- Remember to involve the individual you are caring for in decisions that affect her care.

- Try to resolve any unsettled issues with the person for whom you are caring. If that person won’t discuss past problems, try to resolve conflicts concerning that person and yourself.

- Validate yourself. Tell yourself you are coping well with a difficult situation. Remind yourself that you are in control of your life.

- Enlist community resources, such as local meal site programs or financial assistance from county or state programs.  Know what your community has to offer regarding housing options, community programs, volunteer services, support groups, and respite care.

- Develop a support team of friends, relatives, neighbors, clergy members, or paid volunteer support.

For more information on this subject, Please visit the College of Agricultural Sciences Publications Web site.

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